He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
