Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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