margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
