Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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