I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
