He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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