Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
