she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
