As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
All I want is dick and wine.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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