So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
