Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
