Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
