he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
