i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
