I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
