Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
My feet surprised me
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
