if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
