We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
