Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
