I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
