I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
There r osticjed everywhere
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
