That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
