belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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