There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
