Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
