rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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