im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
