I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
what day is it and did you see me today?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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