do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
