i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
