Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
