R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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