so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
