Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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