it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
