this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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