Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
