All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
