my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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