Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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