toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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