hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
