Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
