do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
