Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
