There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
