Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
