She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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