that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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