god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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