Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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