im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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