soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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