I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
